What do you look like when you go watch the Women's session of General Conference?
Why, you look like you just had a pedicure. #ilovegirlsnightsout
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Angels Among Us
Can you have a profound experience and use lyrics from a country song to describe it? Probably not. But I'm going to anyways.
The legendary country group Alabama's song "Angels Among Us" says "Oh I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me in our darkest hours...to guide us with the light of love." These are the words that filled my mind tonight as I thought about the surprising way I felt during sacrament meeting just a few hours ago.
Why this occurred I have absolutely no clue. Let me set the stage to prove this was entirely unexpected. First, I wasn't enraptured with sacrament meeting like I should have been. I was fidgety; for some reason, I just could not sit still. It was so bad that I had to entertain myself on Instagram. Second, I was fasting about using my time more wisely. Basically, this is to say that I was not fasting about anything significant or related to what happened later. Plus, my emotions weren't intensely involved in my fast. Basically, I wasn't thinking I would have a significant spiritual experience. Third, I feel great about life. I'm content. I feel more joy and peace than I ever have. I don't really care about dating nor am I sad that I'm not dating someone. I am at peace. All of these show that I was thinking I would survive the meeting without being fully invested and go have a lazy evening at home. But here is what happened nonetheless...
Today, during sacrament meeting, a young woman spoke as her "unofficial farewell" before she leaves for the MTC and then Brazil this week. However, because of the unique circumstances with Stake Conference two weeks ago, followed by the Ogden Temple dedication, and General Conference this next weekend, our ward had to squeeze in Fast Sunday along with this girl's talk/testimony. When she finished, the congregation was invited to share their testimonies. At the very end of the meeting, a few of this soon-to-be missionary's family members shared their thoughts. Then, her sweet grandmother stood up. After struggling to walk up to the pulpit, she introduced herself, emphasizing her middle name and then turning around and pointing to her granddaughter still on the stage, who shared the grandmother's middle name, and said "this is a great day to be a grandmother."
All of the sudden I burst into tears. Which surprised me. I felt the spirit so strongly [I'm still tearing up as I type], which led to the tears. But the second feeling was confusion. Why in the world was I crying? What was happening to me? I wasn't even listening whole-heartedly to the testimonies because I was so antsy and hungry. There was absolutely no reason for me to have an emotional reaction to what was said. But the strong, warm feeling of love persisted. As I tried to figure out why I would be feeling that way, Grandma Davis came to my mind. Suddenly I just somehow knew that she was there with me and that she cares about me. I knew that the grandmother's words were a hidden message from Grandma Davis to me personally. "Britney, it IS a good day to be a grandmother." For the rest of the meeting, I felt her love so purely and strongly. Actually, I couldn't stop the tears and had to run out to the bathroom to get tissues. I don't totally understand what happened as I was balling while this grandmother talked, but I just knew that although my grandmother passed away several years ago, she is aware of me. She loves me and she is looking out for me. I knew in that moment that she was proud of me and going to help me get married and receive the desired blessings of my heart.
It's remarkable how thin the veil is. Despite this being a seemingly strange, far-fetched story, it was real for me. Although there was no tangible evidence of my grandma in that room, I know without doubt that she was with me and is personally watching over me. For me, it was a miraculous tender mercy. How grateful I am for Christ's sacrifice, that He was willing to die and be resurrected. Because of that, my grandma still lives. She can speak to me and show me that she is involved in my life, that she is one of those "angels among us, sent down to [me] from somewhere up above...[who comes to] me in [my] darkest hour...to guide [me] with the light of love."
The legendary country group Alabama's song "Angels Among Us" says "Oh I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me in our darkest hours...to guide us with the light of love." These are the words that filled my mind tonight as I thought about the surprising way I felt during sacrament meeting just a few hours ago.
Why this occurred I have absolutely no clue. Let me set the stage to prove this was entirely unexpected. First, I wasn't enraptured with sacrament meeting like I should have been. I was fidgety; for some reason, I just could not sit still. It was so bad that I had to entertain myself on Instagram. Second, I was fasting about using my time more wisely. Basically, this is to say that I was not fasting about anything significant or related to what happened later. Plus, my emotions weren't intensely involved in my fast. Basically, I wasn't thinking I would have a significant spiritual experience. Third, I feel great about life. I'm content. I feel more joy and peace than I ever have. I don't really care about dating nor am I sad that I'm not dating someone. I am at peace. All of these show that I was thinking I would survive the meeting without being fully invested and go have a lazy evening at home. But here is what happened nonetheless...
Today, during sacrament meeting, a young woman spoke as her "unofficial farewell" before she leaves for the MTC and then Brazil this week. However, because of the unique circumstances with Stake Conference two weeks ago, followed by the Ogden Temple dedication, and General Conference this next weekend, our ward had to squeeze in Fast Sunday along with this girl's talk/testimony. When she finished, the congregation was invited to share their testimonies. At the very end of the meeting, a few of this soon-to-be missionary's family members shared their thoughts. Then, her sweet grandmother stood up. After struggling to walk up to the pulpit, she introduced herself, emphasizing her middle name and then turning around and pointing to her granddaughter still on the stage, who shared the grandmother's middle name, and said "this is a great day to be a grandmother."
All of the sudden I burst into tears. Which surprised me. I felt the spirit so strongly [I'm still tearing up as I type], which led to the tears. But the second feeling was confusion. Why in the world was I crying? What was happening to me? I wasn't even listening whole-heartedly to the testimonies because I was so antsy and hungry. There was absolutely no reason for me to have an emotional reaction to what was said. But the strong, warm feeling of love persisted. As I tried to figure out why I would be feeling that way, Grandma Davis came to my mind. Suddenly I just somehow knew that she was there with me and that she cares about me. I knew that the grandmother's words were a hidden message from Grandma Davis to me personally. "Britney, it IS a good day to be a grandmother." For the rest of the meeting, I felt her love so purely and strongly. Actually, I couldn't stop the tears and had to run out to the bathroom to get tissues. I don't totally understand what happened as I was balling while this grandmother talked, but I just knew that although my grandmother passed away several years ago, she is aware of me. She loves me and she is looking out for me. I knew in that moment that she was proud of me and going to help me get married and receive the desired blessings of my heart.
It's remarkable how thin the veil is. Despite this being a seemingly strange, far-fetched story, it was real for me. Although there was no tangible evidence of my grandma in that room, I know without doubt that she was with me and is personally watching over me. For me, it was a miraculous tender mercy. How grateful I am for Christ's sacrifice, that He was willing to die and be resurrected. Because of that, my grandma still lives. She can speak to me and show me that she is involved in my life, that she is one of those "angels among us, sent down to [me] from somewhere up above...[who comes to] me in [my] darkest hour...to guide [me] with the light of love."
Sunday, September 7, 2014
A Mother Heart
A few weeks ago, my friend Kristen sent me this text; "I made the same thing for dinner tonight that I made the last time you came over. Kaitlyn [Kristen's four-year-old daughter] was eating and said 'Remember when Britney was here and I played dolls with her? That was SO fun.' I said, 'You have a good memory.' Kaitlyn said, 'I will always remember her. She was so fun. I wish she were here.' She loves you."
This text filled my heart. Into my mind came the words from Julie B. Beck's talk entitled "A Mother Heart." She said, "In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that 'all things must come to pass in their time' and that they 'are laying the foundation of a great work.' As they keep their covenants...Covenant-keeping women with mother hearts know that whether motherhood comes early or late; whether they are blessed with a 'quiver full' of children here in mortality or not; whether they are left to carry the responsibility of parenthood alone - in holy temples they are 'endowed with power from on high' and with that endowment they received the promised blessings and are 'persuaded of them, and embraced them.'"
Possibly my favorite line comes next, "Every girl and woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants can have a mother heart. There is no limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish."
I have despaired in the past about not being married and having children of my own. I have looked around with jealous eyes at my sister and best friends who take glowing family pictures because I desperately want that for myself, and it's a righteous desire, right?
But when I got Kristen's text, I realized how peaceful and content I am right now with the influence I do have. I have been blessed to love my niece and nephew, Lisa's beautiful boys, Kristen's children, Laura's darling James, and my students year after year. As I sat there thinking about the love I am experiencing as I get to be a part of these lives, I did not feel slighted at all. My 'mother heart' is full. This renewed my commitment to 'mother' my LIA students this year. Here they are...here's hoping I can pray on their behalf and influence them for good.
This text filled my heart. Into my mind came the words from Julie B. Beck's talk entitled "A Mother Heart." She said, "In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that 'all things must come to pass in their time' and that they 'are laying the foundation of a great work.' As they keep their covenants...Covenant-keeping women with mother hearts know that whether motherhood comes early or late; whether they are blessed with a 'quiver full' of children here in mortality or not; whether they are left to carry the responsibility of parenthood alone - in holy temples they are 'endowed with power from on high' and with that endowment they received the promised blessings and are 'persuaded of them, and embraced them.'"
Possibly my favorite line comes next, "Every girl and woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants can have a mother heart. There is no limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish."
I have despaired in the past about not being married and having children of my own. I have looked around with jealous eyes at my sister and best friends who take glowing family pictures because I desperately want that for myself, and it's a righteous desire, right?
But when I got Kristen's text, I realized how peaceful and content I am right now with the influence I do have. I have been blessed to love my niece and nephew, Lisa's beautiful boys, Kristen's children, Laura's darling James, and my students year after year. As I sat there thinking about the love I am experiencing as I get to be a part of these lives, I did not feel slighted at all. My 'mother heart' is full. This renewed my commitment to 'mother' my LIA students this year. Here they are...here's hoping I can pray on their behalf and influence them for good.
Friday, September 5, 2014
The Happiest Place on Earth
Today, I snuck away from work 15 minutes early to escape SLC before traffic hit. My dear friend Kellie Heap had an extra ticket to the Ogden Temple open house and invited me to join her and her parents for a tour. Initially, I wasn't planning on going to the open house because I already attend the temple once a week; I foolishly felt like I know temples decently well. But the invitation was there and Kellie's parents were supervising the volunteers and I could leave work early; the stars were aligning.
Breathtaking. The Ogden temple is the most beautiful temple I have been in. Where I got there, I asked Kellie's parents why they were rededicating the temple. They gently, but quickly, corrected me. It wasn't a rededication - they had completely torn the former building down and erected this new structure from scratch. The entire time we walked through the temple, I was in awe. For one, the artwork is stunning. One of my favorite paintings is that of a black young woman kneeling in a flowing white gown that is placed in the entrance to the women's dressing room. The other is Christ in his stark white robe, with his arms wrapped around two Native American children, against a luscious green forest. Then, the Celestial Room is beyond words, filled with intricate gold painting, gorgeously crafted chandeliers, and rich furniture. I could have walked through the temple over and over for hours.
But I was most surprised how I felt while there. Since it isn't dedicated, I thought it merely would be an architectural marvel. However, the entire time I felt an undeniable testimony pouring in to me. Actually, I do not know how to translate my feelings into words. Consistently throughout the whole temple, I felt an indescribable mix of warmth, happiness, peace, love, and sureness. At times it even brought the beginning of tears. I was most caught off guard by the emotions though in the temporary "visitor's center" staged in a nearby tent. We were just walking through because Kellie's parents wanted to show us where the materials had come from, but as I walked by the pictures, tears actually did fall for who knows what reason. All I know is that it was clear to me how much I absolutely love the temple. That is the pervasive feeling I felt while in Ogden today; I love the temple. I need the strength it brings to me. As I see even righteous individuals lose their testimony because of confusing societal trends, I realized today that the temple is my anchor. For me, I am happiest there. Some think the happiest place on Earth is Disney World; if only they knew.
Breathtaking. The Ogden temple is the most beautiful temple I have been in. Where I got there, I asked Kellie's parents why they were rededicating the temple. They gently, but quickly, corrected me. It wasn't a rededication - they had completely torn the former building down and erected this new structure from scratch. The entire time we walked through the temple, I was in awe. For one, the artwork is stunning. One of my favorite paintings is that of a black young woman kneeling in a flowing white gown that is placed in the entrance to the women's dressing room. The other is Christ in his stark white robe, with his arms wrapped around two Native American children, against a luscious green forest. Then, the Celestial Room is beyond words, filled with intricate gold painting, gorgeously crafted chandeliers, and rich furniture. I could have walked through the temple over and over for hours.
But I was most surprised how I felt while there. Since it isn't dedicated, I thought it merely would be an architectural marvel. However, the entire time I felt an undeniable testimony pouring in to me. Actually, I do not know how to translate my feelings into words. Consistently throughout the whole temple, I felt an indescribable mix of warmth, happiness, peace, love, and sureness. At times it even brought the beginning of tears. I was most caught off guard by the emotions though in the temporary "visitor's center" staged in a nearby tent. We were just walking through because Kellie's parents wanted to show us where the materials had come from, but as I walked by the pictures, tears actually did fall for who knows what reason. All I know is that it was clear to me how much I absolutely love the temple. That is the pervasive feeling I felt while in Ogden today; I love the temple. I need the strength it brings to me. As I see even righteous individuals lose their testimony because of confusing societal trends, I realized today that the temple is my anchor. For me, I am happiest there. Some think the happiest place on Earth is Disney World; if only they knew.
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| Secret confession: I've never been a chandelier fan but these have made me a believer. This is the Celestial Room. |
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| All hand carved. Bless his soul who carved this granite and marble. |
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| If I ever get married...? |
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