When I Grow Up, I Want to be...um, definitely Lisa Schader

At the age of 28, it might be surprising that I'm still questioning what I want to be when I grow up. But after spending five blissful days with my college roommate, I have decided I want to be exactly like Lisa. First of all, who lets you come stay with them for five days straight? Let me clarify, this was just days after her husband got home from a 9-day work trip. I'm sure Lisa was dying to spend time with him, but instead she selflessly planned the most epic day in San Francisco and entertained me for four more days. 

For weeks before my flight landed in San Jose, we referred to our upcoming time together as the "most incredible vacation of our lives." With all the hype, you would like something would disappoint. But it did not. 

Headed off to take on San Fran on a bike! Lisa told me to wear bright colors so speedy California motorists wouldn't take us on out on the Golden Gate Bridge. I listened!

We had to stop at this gorgeous fountain. Biking, blue skies, and palm tree...could life get better?
No, no I don't think so. 

Lisa planned for us to stop at this gorgeous Mom and Pop Italian
 shop on Sausalito. 

And then we took the ferry back to San Francisco and embraced the wind. 

In a shout-out to Rachel, we had to stop at the carousel where we all met years ago on Pier 49. We talked about her incessantly on our trip so it felt like she was with us in spirit. 

We had no idea how hard it would be to find bike parking in the city so I felt victorious whenever we made it work. 

Thankfully Ghiradelli Square was on our route and we enjoyed a delicious Sea Salt Caramel Sundae.
And finished every bite. 

In a true state of gluttony, we just relaxed on the beach after consuming the sundae, and watched other people swimming in the bay and exercising while I basked in the sun. 

But look at those steep streets - that kicked my trash. 

Think only cars can ride down Lombard street? We proved them all wrong and biked down it!

We topped the food journey off with Thai food in China town. Delicious. 

And then we biked back by the beach at sunset. It was glorious. 

One of the highlights of the trip was getting to cuddle with these cute boys who would run up and tackle me on my air mattress. Look at those faces. How can you not fall in love with that?  

Then we went to the beach and Lisa tackled the kite. She won and it flew proudly. 

Then Lisa and I recreated her and Bryan's date night by grabbing sushi at the beach and then going to "Sunset Beach" which I believe IS the most gorgeous place to watch the sunset. Aptly named. 

We kind of look like men in our sweatshirts but it was gorgeous behind us. 

Not only is Lisa the best human being ever, but she has the best husband. When giving her an Easter basket, he made one for me too. 

AND he made me a welcome sign with the boys while Lisa was picking me up. 

You would like I could help out a little more to try and make up for all they did for me, but instead I just played with the boys all the time but at least we made Buckeyes and Blake liked them!

In one pre-trip text, Lisa said, "My goal is for you to leave here feeling refreshed, revitalized, and loving life." Check.

Just a Second Year Teacher?

This past Friday was the annual Latinos in Action conference which rewards students for their dedicated tutoring and participation in the program. One highlight for the past two years has been that my students are chosen to perform (Video to follow). This year I had sent my phone backstage with my students because they needed a song on it to rehearse while waiting to perform. Halfway through the event, one of my students silently passes me a phone. On it, is one of the dancers asking me to come backstage and be able to film them from the side. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it because I had already scheduled for someone to go down in front and film, but he was insistent. Still, to be a good role model for my students, I decided to wait until the speaker was done presenting before heading down. But suddenly a volunteer came up to find me and lead me down. It was worth it to wait backstage with my students though to try to help calm their nerves and it was thrilling to be off-stage filming because I felt like a proud parent. I almost wanted to cry as I watched them dance and felt overwhelmed by how much I loved them (and how much work I had put into them). As they finished, the LIA Associate Director of Operations, Talia, said "You are going to want to wait right here and you will want to put those phones down." I was looking around, confused, but I also knew what was next on the agenda because I had studied it to tell my students when they were performing. All I know that happened next was that my legs were shaking and Dr. Jose Enriquez was announcing that I was the LIA teacher of the year. Instant guilt flooded me because there are so many more qualified teachers but then my two girls who had been dancing rushed at me in a huge embrace on stage and the tears silently came. Although I don't deserve the award, it is nice to feel like maybe the hours weren't all for naught. Although we haven't seen perfect results from my program yet, I am grateful at least some of it has meant something to the students.

6:30 am

A few days before February 27, 2015 approached, I warned my Latinos In Action students to be at the school at 6:30 am. We needed to get up to Logan, Utah and Utah State University for the Hispanic Leadership Conference, which was two hours away. Even as I would announce the time to students, I doubted their ability to make it to school that early. For one, it would mean that they, teenagers, had to wake up even earlier. Two, they were Latinos who traditionally run late or do not focus on time. Thirdly, most of them live on the West side of the valley, far away from the school and do not have cars, meaning that they are bussed. But I was asking them to arrive about half an hour before their busses would. In actuality, I was asking their hard-working parents to arrive that early. Three strikes and I'm out, right?

That is not what I saw on February 27. Instead, as I walked out to the bus, I saw nearly 60 students dressed professionally, waiting even before 6:30. 60 LATINO students. We all boarded the bus and made it as the conference was starting. As I was giving directions, I acted like they merely met my expectations. Secretly, I was in shock. If I accomplish nothing else this year, I want it on record that I was able to get 60 LATINO teenagers to school early. Success.

He Knows, Part II

I was beginning to believe that life would always be excruciatingly stressful and that consequently I would always be on the verge of a break-down.

     That was until last Friday when I decided to take a "sick day" because I physically could not go to school since I was so overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. Or rather, I should say that was until today when my principal, Alan, asked me to come chat with him. He started by explaining that Kim, my friend who teaches next door to me, had come out of concern on Friday to talk to Ben and Alan about all the responsibilities on my plate and how they were affecting me. Instantly I started balling as I always do in Alan's office.  As usual, it was unbelievably therapeutic. He helps me feel so much love, validating my concerns while also helping me find solutions. I am always in awe of his kind words that are perfectly in tune with my heartache and struggle.
     He acknowledged that I have been working too much and that the expectations are unrealistic. I was grateful he relieved my fears that I should be able to handle this workload and was in some way weak because I could not. In fact, he got upset when I suggested this and forcefully clarified that I should not compare myself with some standard that has been set up which is  unrealistic. He also reiterated countless times how much he cares and loves me and how concerned, genuinely concerned, he is about how I am doing. He looked at me sincerely and complimented me for who I am as a person. What was remarkable is that he understood my need to work hard and of course affirmed that that is part of what makes me so wonderful but he got slightly angry with how much I've had to work and offered to do whatever he could to help. He offered possible solutions but especially said that I need to go to his office to check up with him more.
    Then, he asked the last time I had a priesthood blessing. Because I do not have home teachers, he offered to give me a priesthood blessing, which was beautiful. In it, he repeated several times how much I am loved by my Heavenly Parents and all who know me. He blessed me to feel that more in the very core of my body and soul and to gain a testimony of that. I know that he mentioned several times how much people love me and are looking out for me. Intertwined in these soul-lifting thoughts was the counsel to discern where to cut back and just stop. It was clear that I need to get better at learning what things to do when or what not to do. Along with this, he blessed me to find more joy in the little things in life and to have more of an eternal perspective of myself. He did also bless me that I would understand how precious and good I am in an eternal perspective. I can't remember all the tender, sacred words but I know that I was surprised at how good he and Heavenly Father believe I am.
    What makes this even more special for me is that I had been thinking this past weekend about wanting a blessing but didn't know who to ask and also thinking it was ridiculous since I just got a Father's Blessing over Christmas Break. I am just in awe that Heavenly Father would bless me with this experience today. I feel like I need to sit silent all evening and try to comprehend it; it was just a beautiful experience that made me feel like I can survive this year, and like Alan said, try to not just survive but thrive. Heavenly Father continually surprises me with how mindful He is of me. I am grateful for modern-day miracles; that they occur and that I can witness them in my life.
     I am grateful for the hug Alan gave me that helped buoy me up. I am grateful that God cares, that He's aware of one person's struggles at work and will do something to help it get better. I am grateful for His love. He knows, and continues to show me in miraculous ways that He knows. This experience has convinced me that Heavenly Father is saying to me, "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions" (Mosiah 24:14).
     It has also convinced me that Helamen 5:12 is true because I feel like I am seeing the fulfillment of it since I have turned to the Lord with this burden: "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

He Knows

About a month ago, I had committed to go to the Provo temple for my weekly temple date with Kenzie. However, that night had been busy and the next day was even more over-scheduled. All during the 50 mile drive down there, I was beating myself up for making that decision. "Stupid. Unnecessary. I could go to the temple by me. I am not realistic. And I'm feeling unbelievably stressed." Basically, that conversation in my head kept repeating for the entire 45 minute drive.

Thankfully, once we were in the session, I started to calm down as the peace of the temple enveloped me. Despite that, I still believed it had been an unwise decision. Then, we walked into the celestial room. There, my best friend Ashley Porter came over and gave me the most meaningful hug. We both were struggling and 'randomly' got to enjoy calm together in the celestial room. Then, as I was back in the changing room, my former secretary in the Relief Society Presidency, Jenna Hansen Lundell, ran over to me. Apparently, she had seen me in the celestial room and when I left, told her husband that they had to leave so she could go talk to me. As soon as we saw each other, she burst into tears. Apparently, that day had been extremely rough. But, because it was there weekly temple date, Jenna reluctantly accompanied her husband to the temple, although she would have much rather stayed at home and tried to work out her sadness. She said seeing me was the answer to her prayer. I felt it too, except that it was also an answer to mine. There is an inexplicable bond between women who serve in a Relief Society Presidency together; a bond that is some of the deepest caring about each other outside of a family. That day we both needed that love and Heavenly Father brought us together so we could feel it.

This occurred at a time when I had been feeling quite down about life and dating. I was shocked to see that God could still use me for good despite feeling like my weight was stopping me from marriage. I was also shocked that God cared enough to orchestrate the reunions so that we could feel His love, in His house.

He knows, doesn't He? Why do I ever doubt?

The Family That Cheers Together, Stays Together...

Our love for the Ohio State Buckeyes may just be a tradition; however, it is one that bonds us despite our geographical distance. I spent the Michigan game at Jodelle's, while my family watched it in Ohio. Afterward, we were all calling each other to celebrate and of course emailing Casey about the victory. Then, for the first time in about three years, we all got together on New Years Day and cheered the Buckeyes on to victory in the first ever College Playoff game and unprecedented defeat of Alabama and Nick Saban. All of our voices where hoarse that next day. Finally, January 12, from around the country, we were calling and texting as we screamed for the Bucks when they beat Oregon 41-20 to become the first undisputed National Champions. The highlight of it though for me is how it connects me with everyone. Dad called me immediately after the victory and Grandma Miller texted me. Of course, it was the topic of our emails with Casey. In fact, part of that victory might be attributed to him since 2014 is the only year he spent completely as a missionary. Coincidentally, it was the Buckeye's best season in recent years. Plus, he was praying all week for the Bucks to win. Coincidence? I think not? ;) 

While others look at us and see fanatical fans, I see a family that is bonded because of football. And I love it. 

Plus, you can bond with your co-workers. Despite both teaching in Utah, we had to wear our jerseys and tattoos on game day to support our team. It's justifiable though because it's just helping our students value college, right?

Becoming an Official Adult

Up until last year, I was still sleeping in a $50 twin bed, in a room with no curtains, and with a total number of possessions that could fit into my compact car. That was at the age of 27. Finally, I decided to purchase a bedroom set. After that, the desire to nest took over. I now find myself wanting to spend money on home decor, which is a new phenomenon for me. But my official welcome into adulthood was never quite possible on my teacher salary. 

And then my grandparents surprised us and generously gave each grandchild $1,000 for Christmas. I can never complain about finances because they have spoiled me. For several days I debated how to spend the money, trying to convince myself that the best and only decision was to put the money in a saving account. While that probably would have been the wisest decision, I happened to look at my 'wish list' on my phone and decided to use the money to help myself become an adult and purchase 'necessities' that I will not be able to afford in the future. 

Introducing my future happiness as an official adult...

A 3-man tent because it's my dream that my family becomes a camping family. 

A Bosch mixer since I do not cook but want to be able to provide healthy meals for my family and am hoping this will force me to do it. 

A Chromebook since my other computer was practically dead and made doing anything at least an hour project.

Yet to come...

A backpack to carry my family down to Havasupai. 

Life is good. 

Hello 2015! It's Going to Be a Good One.

Casey will be the one I have to thank if all goes according to my goals in 2015. In a recent email he recommended the book "Drawing on the Powers of Heaven." My parents loved it so much that they convinced me to study it (by putting the money for it in my account).

It centers on how we need to set goals with the Spirit and then work toward achieving them as the power of Heaven empowers us.

It's January 4th so I'm slightly delayed on setting my goals but I didn't want to commit until I was sure. Here they are...

1. PHYSICAL: Discipline. Become the master of my own house.
- Run a marathon/half-marathon before June 2015
- Go to the gym at least 4/week
- Cook meals at the beginning of the week to encourage myself to eat healthy
- Covenant with God to only eat sweets once a week and ask for the strength to fulfill that promise

2. INTELLECTUAL: Change paths
- Search for a new job
- Read at least 3 classic novels instead of watching movies

3. SPIRITUAL: Deepen my relationship with Christ and be led by the Spirit.
- Improve my scripture study by having my computer open to write down notes. Study for 1/2 hour.
- Pray more sincerely. Make sure I have enough time. Ponder what I am going to say beforehand. Repent daily in these prayers and "return and report."
- Read one gospel book a quarter like Jesus the Christ, etc.

4. SOCIAL: Serve
- Pray to help one person each day
- If needed, complete the 52 acts of kindness

5. EMOTIONAL: Love myself so I can love others
- Develop more self-confidence. Start by learning more about how to do this.
- Write in a gratitude journal each day

6. FINANCIAL: Prepare for the future
- Reduce my spending and start saving more. Increase how much I have automatically transferred to my savings account.
- Open a money market.
- Only make purchases from what I have allocated in my "Spending" account.

I just thought that it would be useful if I report back each month on this same post to track my progress. I'm praying for the enabling power of the Atonement to help me accomplish these goals.

JANUARY
1. I'm typically going to the gym four times during the week. There is progress. For several weeks now, I have been cooking meals at the start of the week. I just need to get better about only eating 1 sweet a week. I'm going to focus on that this next week.

2. I've decided to read "Lord of the Flies" as one of my classic novels and will check that out this week. I'll also be checking into new jobs more this month.

3. I'm doing better with reading scriptures before working on other things and also having the computer out and ready to write. As for praying, I'm trying to do that not on my bed and I feel like I'm starting to be able to sit still a little longer. I started Sheri Dew's Women and the Priesthood book and so far it is speaking to my soul.

4. I may need to start the random acts of kindness jar because I haven't been remembering to pray for others and for service opportunities. Maybe I should start writing down who I will pray for, before I pray like we do in ward council.

5. I am faithfully writing in my gratitude journal and it is helping me be more positive. The blessing that Alan gave me today counseled me to find joy in the small things in life. Hopefully my gratitude journal will continue to help me do this.

6. I just started the transfer of $200 more each month to my savings account. However, I definitely need to improve on only spending money from my "Spending Account." Here we go!

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

What It's All About

Empirical evidence from this recent Christmas Break has me convinced that FAMILY is what it's about; they make life more joyful and eternal. That's not to say that two weeks together in the same house didn't spark some drama occasionally. But in the overall perspective, I will take that along with all the good.

Pictures from this recent break are all the evidence I need to support that claim...

Olivia and I spent several hours making paper dolls, princess paper dolls to be exact. Don't judge the quality; Remember, I was doing this with a stubborn 4-year-old.

The number one thing we can bond over? THE Ohio State!

I think I'll marry Brutus; he's quite good-looking and very loyal.

 I'd say it's an impressive feat to get two littles to spell out O-H-I-O with you.
That's how we raise 'em. #Breedemyoung

I quickly discovered that Channing's current favorite pastime is boxing. This is how he came at me over the break. Of course I fought back!

The day I got to babysit Channing we spent quite a bit of time "playing" ping pong. If he becomes a Ping Pong Olympian one day, I'm going to attribute his success to this moment. 

 

At this point, I seeming quite brutal but remember that I am entertaining a 2-year-old boy who is ALL boy. We spent most of our remaining time, apart from ping pong and wresting, sword-fighting with wrapping paper rolls, spatulas, and the occasional race car track.

Thankfully, we managed to squeeze this in as well. Every aunt's dream!

Another highlight was going to the temple with my grandma and then celebrating afterward with City BBQ and Grater's Ice Cream. Everything about that day was my favorite. Favorite grandmother, favorite place, favorite food. It was a win. 

I also got to be there on my Dad's last day of work with United (Continental) Airlines. His fourteen years of work allowed me to go to Paris, London, Rome, Jerusalem, Mexcio twice, and Peru. And with those quarters he's holding there, and $16,000 more like them that he collected from the carts at the airport, he was able to buy a sports car. Was there ever a finer example of a hard work ethic and selfless sacrifice? 

Another of Channing; Look at that face. I just can't help myself. 

 The greatest Christmas present was getting to Skype with Casey on Christmas, especially being told that we would only have 40 minutes and having the conversation last for two hours. At first, this was how my Dad conference-called in while he was at work.

We finally upgraded to the real computer. I love technology; there is nothing like being in four separate houses but still seeing each other...and Casey's receding hair line that he's panicked about. We are starting our countdown now. 5 months until he's home!

The family that cheers together, stays together. Go Bucks! #bestfamilytradition #webleedscarletandgray #lotsofscreamingthatnight

The joy of eating Buckeyes, as captured by Channing. Don't we all feel that way?