He Knows

About a month ago, I had committed to go to the Provo temple for my weekly temple date with Kenzie. However, that night had been busy and the next day was even more over-scheduled. All during the 50 mile drive down there, I was beating myself up for making that decision. "Stupid. Unnecessary. I could go to the temple by me. I am not realistic. And I'm feeling unbelievably stressed." Basically, that conversation in my head kept repeating for the entire 45 minute drive.

Thankfully, once we were in the session, I started to calm down as the peace of the temple enveloped me. Despite that, I still believed it had been an unwise decision. Then, we walked into the celestial room. There, my best friend Ashley Porter came over and gave me the most meaningful hug. We both were struggling and 'randomly' got to enjoy calm together in the celestial room. Then, as I was back in the changing room, my former secretary in the Relief Society Presidency, Jenna Hansen Lundell, ran over to me. Apparently, she had seen me in the celestial room and when I left, told her husband that they had to leave so she could go talk to me. As soon as we saw each other, she burst into tears. Apparently, that day had been extremely rough. But, because it was there weekly temple date, Jenna reluctantly accompanied her husband to the temple, although she would have much rather stayed at home and tried to work out her sadness. She said seeing me was the answer to her prayer. I felt it too, except that it was also an answer to mine. There is an inexplicable bond between women who serve in a Relief Society Presidency together; a bond that is some of the deepest caring about each other outside of a family. That day we both needed that love and Heavenly Father brought us together so we could feel it.

This occurred at a time when I had been feeling quite down about life and dating. I was shocked to see that God could still use me for good despite feeling like my weight was stopping me from marriage. I was also shocked that God cared enough to orchestrate the reunions so that we could feel His love, in His house.

He knows, doesn't He? Why do I ever doubt?