How to Not Cheer When Your Team is #1

Yesterday, was The Game. My #1 Ohio State took on Xichigan in our typical Saturday-after-Thanksgiving rivalry.

I feel completely powerless to do that when OSU is playing on TV. The complication was that Lashay was at the house yesterday and because of her undiagnosed disease, we need to speak at more of a whisper-volume. So I tried to shout silently, jump up and down without exclaiming. But in the heat of the moment, words would blow past my lips, rushing to the TV in sharp bursts. Only then would I realize and turn apologetically to Lashay.

What we've learned from this is there's definitely one arena in life where I am a loose cannon, unreserved and unfiltered. That is Ohio State Football. And I make no apologies.

Then, in stark contrast to my fervent competitiveness that was coursing through me, Jodelle and I kept tradition alive with our 2nd Annual David Archuleta Christmas Concert. Which only renewed my drive to find a way to marry him. After getting my fangirl out of my system, I am also deeply grateful for the power of his vocal chords that feel so gentle, tender, and stunning, and the fact that he uses his voice to testify in such a pure way of Christ. Jodelle leaned over multiple times to tell me how she forgets every year about how phenomenal he is but then in concert, she loves it. That makes me so happy internally, in a way that I will never admit to anyone else because I love that we have this space where Jodelle can feel the spirit and we can talk about Christ.

Back in the Motherland...

Thanks to Ashley Korfel's wedding, the 4th of July, and my birthday all occurring within a week of each other, I just got to spend 10 days in Ohio. It could not have been more perfectly timed. The instant I walked into my room, I felt peace envelope me.

We took full advantage of our time together. Wednesday night I just kissed the littles all night long while playing. Then Thursday I took Olivia on a "date" to Panda Express and Target. Later that night we had a bonfire with pop rockets and smoke bombs...got to prepare in advance for the 4th.

Friday was extremely special: Mom, Dad, Grandma, Aunt Cherie, Uncle Dean and I went to the temple and sealed Uncle Earl to his parents. Grandma stood in for her mother and Dad acted on behalf of Uncle Earl. The Spirit filled the room. All the women needed several tissues to recover from that experience. It was so sacred and beautiful.

Saturday we saw Olivia learn to ride her bike and then I went to Ashley Korfel's bachelorette party and blew glass ornaments.

Sunday we were reunited with Kelsey at Grandma and Grandpa's. The rain didn't ruin our party; we still got games, pizza, and a bonfire in!

Monday we kept our new traditions alive by going to Westerville's parade and then the fireworks at night.

Tuesday was possibly my favorite day: we all went boating together. I got to ski twice; once behind the boat and the second time behind the jet ski. Now I just need to try to slalmon! I was definitely spoiled with extremely thoughtful gifts and cards from all my family. Plus, so many friends reached out to me about my birthday. Why do I forget how blessed I am?

Wednesday, Grandma, Grandpa, Mom and I drove up to Leipsic and Columbus Grove and toured around. I've never seen my grandpa's farm so that was cool to see the land and stumble upon his actual plow and other equipment.

Thursday I just worked and then we took the kids to go see The Secret Life of Pets. First though ,we had to play hide-and-go-seek and it was cute to see how much Channing loved it. He doesn't know how to lie yet though because he kept shouting out "I'm right here," in response to my walking around saying, "I wonder where Channing could be." And then there was the constant giggling...you could hear him two rooms away. Hilarious.

Friday we all went to the outlets and then gave up when we saw how disappointing their sales were. So we went less fancy and hit up Marshalls, which we all love. Then Kelsey turned Mom's house into a salon while I hung out with the littles and ordered food at their "restaurant." Then we went to the temple again and sealed Grandma and Grandpa Davis to their parents. Right when we finished, Dad gave me a hug and I loved the feeling our of family being circled in a hug.

Saturday I basically spent all day at Ashley Korfel's wedding (it was stunning and sacred to remember how important marriage is). But I got to run over to Court's afterward and Kels came too and we all just chatted.

Finally, today we had subs and hung out after church until I had to go to the airport. This past week and a half strengthened my testimony even more of the sealing and priesthood power. How grateful I am that Christ has enabled us to be linked to each other and live together forever. Our church really does provide that ability for families to be eternal...could I want any blessing more?

When I Grow Up, I Want to be...um, definitely Lisa Schader

At the age of 28, it might be surprising that I'm still questioning what I want to be when I grow up. But after spending five blissful days with my college roommate, I have decided I want to be exactly like Lisa. First of all, who lets you come stay with them for five days straight? Let me clarify, this was just days after her husband got home from a 9-day work trip. I'm sure Lisa was dying to spend time with him, but instead she selflessly planned the most epic day in San Francisco and entertained me for four more days. 

For weeks before my flight landed in San Jose, we referred to our upcoming time together as the "most incredible vacation of our lives." With all the hype, you would like something would disappoint. But it did not. 

Headed off to take on San Fran on a bike! Lisa told me to wear bright colors so speedy California motorists wouldn't take us on out on the Golden Gate Bridge. I listened!

We had to stop at this gorgeous fountain. Biking, blue skies, and palm tree...could life get better?
No, no I don't think so. 

Lisa planned for us to stop at this gorgeous Mom and Pop Italian
 shop on Sausalito. 

And then we took the ferry back to San Francisco and embraced the wind. 

In a shout-out to Rachel, we had to stop at the carousel where we all met years ago on Pier 49. We talked about her incessantly on our trip so it felt like she was with us in spirit. 

We had no idea how hard it would be to find bike parking in the city so I felt victorious whenever we made it work. 

Thankfully Ghiradelli Square was on our route and we enjoyed a delicious Sea Salt Caramel Sundae.
And finished every bite. 

In a true state of gluttony, we just relaxed on the beach after consuming the sundae, and watched other people swimming in the bay and exercising while I basked in the sun. 

But look at those steep streets - that kicked my trash. 

Think only cars can ride down Lombard street? We proved them all wrong and biked down it!

We topped the food journey off with Thai food in China town. Delicious. 

And then we biked back by the beach at sunset. It was glorious. 

One of the highlights of the trip was getting to cuddle with these cute boys who would run up and tackle me on my air mattress. Look at those faces. How can you not fall in love with that?  

Then we went to the beach and Lisa tackled the kite. She won and it flew proudly. 

Then Lisa and I recreated her and Bryan's date night by grabbing sushi at the beach and then going to "Sunset Beach" which I believe IS the most gorgeous place to watch the sunset. Aptly named. 

We kind of look like men in our sweatshirts but it was gorgeous behind us. 

Not only is Lisa the best human being ever, but she has the best husband. When giving her an Easter basket, he made one for me too. 

AND he made me a welcome sign with the boys while Lisa was picking me up. 

You would like I could help out a little more to try and make up for all they did for me, but instead I just played with the boys all the time but at least we made Buckeyes and Blake liked them!

In one pre-trip text, Lisa said, "My goal is for you to leave here feeling refreshed, revitalized, and loving life." Check.

Just a Second Year Teacher?

This past Friday was the annual Latinos in Action conference which rewards students for their dedicated tutoring and participation in the program. One highlight for the past two years has been that my students are chosen to perform (Video to follow). This year I had sent my phone backstage with my students because they needed a song on it to rehearse while waiting to perform. Halfway through the event, one of my students silently passes me a phone. On it, is one of the dancers asking me to come backstage and be able to film them from the side. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it because I had already scheduled for someone to go down in front and film, but he was insistent. Still, to be a good role model for my students, I decided to wait until the speaker was done presenting before heading down. But suddenly a volunteer came up to find me and lead me down. It was worth it to wait backstage with my students though to try to help calm their nerves and it was thrilling to be off-stage filming because I felt like a proud parent. I almost wanted to cry as I watched them dance and felt overwhelmed by how much I loved them (and how much work I had put into them). As they finished, the LIA Associate Director of Operations, Talia, said "You are going to want to wait right here and you will want to put those phones down." I was looking around, confused, but I also knew what was next on the agenda because I had studied it to tell my students when they were performing. All I know that happened next was that my legs were shaking and Dr. Jose Enriquez was announcing that I was the LIA teacher of the year. Instant guilt flooded me because there are so many more qualified teachers but then my two girls who had been dancing rushed at me in a huge embrace on stage and the tears silently came. Although I don't deserve the award, it is nice to feel like maybe the hours weren't all for naught. Although we haven't seen perfect results from my program yet, I am grateful at least some of it has meant something to the students.

6:30 am

A few days before February 27, 2015 approached, I warned my Latinos In Action students to be at the school at 6:30 am. We needed to get up to Logan, Utah and Utah State University for the Hispanic Leadership Conference, which was two hours away. Even as I would announce the time to students, I doubted their ability to make it to school that early. For one, it would mean that they, teenagers, had to wake up even earlier. Two, they were Latinos who traditionally run late or do not focus on time. Thirdly, most of them live on the West side of the valley, far away from the school and do not have cars, meaning that they are bussed. But I was asking them to arrive about half an hour before their busses would. In actuality, I was asking their hard-working parents to arrive that early. Three strikes and I'm out, right?

That is not what I saw on February 27. Instead, as I walked out to the bus, I saw nearly 60 students dressed professionally, waiting even before 6:30. 60 LATINO students. We all boarded the bus and made it as the conference was starting. As I was giving directions, I acted like they merely met my expectations. Secretly, I was in shock. If I accomplish nothing else this year, I want it on record that I was able to get 60 LATINO teenagers to school early. Success.

He Knows, Part II

I was beginning to believe that life would always be excruciatingly stressful and that consequently I would always be on the verge of a break-down.

     That was until last Friday when I decided to take a "sick day" because I physically could not go to school since I was so overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. Or rather, I should say that was until today when my principal, Alan, asked me to come chat with him. He started by explaining that Kim, my friend who teaches next door to me, had come out of concern on Friday to talk to Ben and Alan about all the responsibilities on my plate and how they were affecting me. Instantly I started balling as I always do in Alan's office.  As usual, it was unbelievably therapeutic. He helps me feel so much love, validating my concerns while also helping me find solutions. I am always in awe of his kind words that are perfectly in tune with my heartache and struggle.
     He acknowledged that I have been working too much and that the expectations are unrealistic. I was grateful he relieved my fears that I should be able to handle this workload and was in some way weak because I could not. In fact, he got upset when I suggested this and forcefully clarified that I should not compare myself with some standard that has been set up which is  unrealistic. He also reiterated countless times how much he cares and loves me and how concerned, genuinely concerned, he is about how I am doing. He looked at me sincerely and complimented me for who I am as a person. What was remarkable is that he understood my need to work hard and of course affirmed that that is part of what makes me so wonderful but he got slightly angry with how much I've had to work and offered to do whatever he could to help. He offered possible solutions but especially said that I need to go to his office to check up with him more.
    Then, he asked the last time I had a priesthood blessing. Because I do not have home teachers, he offered to give me a priesthood blessing, which was beautiful. In it, he repeated several times how much I am loved by my Heavenly Parents and all who know me. He blessed me to feel that more in the very core of my body and soul and to gain a testimony of that. I know that he mentioned several times how much people love me and are looking out for me. Intertwined in these soul-lifting thoughts was the counsel to discern where to cut back and just stop. It was clear that I need to get better at learning what things to do when or what not to do. Along with this, he blessed me to find more joy in the little things in life and to have more of an eternal perspective of myself. He did also bless me that I would understand how precious and good I am in an eternal perspective. I can't remember all the tender, sacred words but I know that I was surprised at how good he and Heavenly Father believe I am.
    What makes this even more special for me is that I had been thinking this past weekend about wanting a blessing but didn't know who to ask and also thinking it was ridiculous since I just got a Father's Blessing over Christmas Break. I am just in awe that Heavenly Father would bless me with this experience today. I feel like I need to sit silent all evening and try to comprehend it; it was just a beautiful experience that made me feel like I can survive this year, and like Alan said, try to not just survive but thrive. Heavenly Father continually surprises me with how mindful He is of me. I am grateful for modern-day miracles; that they occur and that I can witness them in my life.
     I am grateful for the hug Alan gave me that helped buoy me up. I am grateful that God cares, that He's aware of one person's struggles at work and will do something to help it get better. I am grateful for His love. He knows, and continues to show me in miraculous ways that He knows. This experience has convinced me that Heavenly Father is saying to me, "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions" (Mosiah 24:14).
     It has also convinced me that Helamen 5:12 is true because I feel like I am seeing the fulfillment of it since I have turned to the Lord with this burden: "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

He Knows

About a month ago, I had committed to go to the Provo temple for my weekly temple date with Kenzie. However, that night had been busy and the next day was even more over-scheduled. All during the 50 mile drive down there, I was beating myself up for making that decision. "Stupid. Unnecessary. I could go to the temple by me. I am not realistic. And I'm feeling unbelievably stressed." Basically, that conversation in my head kept repeating for the entire 45 minute drive.

Thankfully, once we were in the session, I started to calm down as the peace of the temple enveloped me. Despite that, I still believed it had been an unwise decision. Then, we walked into the celestial room. There, my best friend Ashley Porter came over and gave me the most meaningful hug. We both were struggling and 'randomly' got to enjoy calm together in the celestial room. Then, as I was back in the changing room, my former secretary in the Relief Society Presidency, Jenna Hansen Lundell, ran over to me. Apparently, she had seen me in the celestial room and when I left, told her husband that they had to leave so she could go talk to me. As soon as we saw each other, she burst into tears. Apparently, that day had been extremely rough. But, because it was there weekly temple date, Jenna reluctantly accompanied her husband to the temple, although she would have much rather stayed at home and tried to work out her sadness. She said seeing me was the answer to her prayer. I felt it too, except that it was also an answer to mine. There is an inexplicable bond between women who serve in a Relief Society Presidency together; a bond that is some of the deepest caring about each other outside of a family. That day we both needed that love and Heavenly Father brought us together so we could feel it.

This occurred at a time when I had been feeling quite down about life and dating. I was shocked to see that God could still use me for good despite feeling like my weight was stopping me from marriage. I was also shocked that God cared enough to orchestrate the reunions so that we could feel His love, in His house.

He knows, doesn't He? Why do I ever doubt?