I Need Bling

Recently, Allie Dilts and I have been sneaking out to buy lunch at work. What started off as a once-a-month routine has morphed into a weekly ritual. Our bodies must be craving Vitamin-D after winter because we sacrifice our budgets so that we can get out of the dark building.

The other day we were at Subway and while I was physically in the process of purchasing food, a boy approached me and said, "Excuse me, but if I gave you my number, would you text me?" I responded with a nervous laugh, followed by a "No." Nervous, because he was clearly a high school student. Who else eats at Subway at 10:30am? Only Cottonwood High School students and faculty, whose bodies have adapted to eating lunch when the rest of the world is eating breakfast.

Shockingly, my curt response did not deter him. He persisted, even pointing to my ring finger and saying "But I notice you aren't wearing a ring. You aren't married are you?" Again, my answer was "No," not only am I not married but still emphatically "No" I will not contact you, you seventeen-year-old male who acts on dares and is raging with hormones. Eventually, I just had to walk away to fill up my water cup and the conversation ended.

Several days later I was walking down the hall at CHS during my prep period and who was sitting on the table in the hallway but the same, audacious, clearly-a-high-school-student boy. He tried to initiate a conversation, but I focused on getting down to the office.

Then, because Allie and I can't stop going out to lunch, although we have tried, we went to Yoshi's a few days later, and as I was waiting on my sushi, said bold boy showed up and brought up the fact that I hadn't taken him up on his offer yet and extended it again. I decided this had gotten too out of control so I had to just walk out of the restaurant without acknowledging him and wait for Allie to meet me outside.

This is why I've decided that I need a diamond ring on my finger, or actually, since I'm buying it for myself I think I'll go for cubic zarconia. All awkward, illegal situations would then be solved.